Thank you notes...The Who what when & how's?

Greeting's blog family!
As I come to the close of yet another busy wedding season, I pondered how many of my couples remembered to send out thank your cards to their guests thanking them for their presence, gifts and overall thoughtfulness. This got me to thinking..hmmmm.. I wonder if they even know the proper etiquette regarding Thank you cards. Well if you have ever worked with me you know that I am all about Proper Etiquette so I thought this would be an appropiate time to share my good old friend Emily Post's tips regarding this subject.


When should notes be written ? ... I am soo glad that you asked this question! Let's ask Emily!

Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period. All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift. If that’s not possible, set a daily goal. It’s a lot easier to write three or four notes a day than to have to write a hundred notes in a month after the wedding!

On to the next question..What type of Stationary should I use?

First of all, stationery is the operative word here: No fill-in-the-blank cards, no pre-printed cards, no phone calls, no emails and PLEASE no generic post on your website!

Tannie..Do I have to send everyone a note that attended my wedding or just the ones that gave me a gift? Wow...I am so glad that I have you thinking..Great question! Here is the answer to this one! This is along list so get ready!!

• Anyone who gives you an engagement, shower or wedding gift, even if you have thanked them in person.
• Individual notes should be written to people who contributed to a group gift.
• Anyone who gives a gift of money: cash, checks, contributions to savings accounts and donations to charities. Mentioning the amount is optional, but it does let the person know the correct amount was received. You should mention what you plan to do with the money.
• Your attendants. A warm personal note attached to your gifts to your attendants will let them know how much you appreciate their efforts and support on your behalf.
• Anyone who hosted a party or shower for you. Ideally these notes should be written within two days of the event. Each host or hostess should be thanked individually with a note and a thank you gift.
• People who house or entertain your wedding guests. A note and a small gift should be sent to anyone who houses or entertains out-of-town wedding guests.
• People who do kindnesses for you. The neighbor who accepts delivery of your gifts when you are at work; the cousin who supervises the parking at the reception – anyone who assists you before, during or after your wedding.
• Suppliers and vendors. You don’t have to write everyone you hire for services, but anyone who exceeds your expectations will appreciate a courteous note of thanks.
• And lastly but certainly not least.....Drumroll please.......Your parents or whoever is hosting your wedding.

In closing I would like to list the top 10 D0's & Don'ts in writing thank you cards:(in no particular order)

1. Do personalize your notes and make reference to the person as well as the gift.
2. Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generous spirit in which it was given.
3. Do be enthusiastic, but don’t gush. Avoid saying a gift is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen unless you really mean it.
4. Don’t send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don’t use email or post a generic thank you on your wedding web site in lieu of a personal note.
5. Do promptly acknowledge the receipt of shipped gifts by sending a note right away or calling and following up with a written note in a day or two.
6. Don’t mention that you plan to return a gift or that you are dissatisfied in any way.
7. Don’t tailor your note to the perceived value of the gift; no one should receive a perfunctory note.
8. Do refer to the way you will use a gift of money. Mentioning the amount is optional.
9. Don’t include wedding photos or use photo cards if it will delay sending the note.
10. Don’t use being late as an excuse not to write. Even if you are still sending notes after your first anniversary, keep writing!

Source: http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/etiquette/postings/wedding_thankyous.htm